Wednesday, December 12, 2012

How the Grinch almost stole my Christmas

Robert Martignani | How the Grinch almost stole my Christmas           Even though we had purchased our Christmas tree on December 2nd (tradition is the first weekend of December) we finally decorated it on the 10th. Down with the flu, no one in the family was interested in decorating the tree. Infact, much of the feeling of festivity has been missing from our home this year. This is a new development as in years past we have always been cheerful around Christmas time. I've always loved buying a fresh tree so that the smell would permeate throughout our home. This year in particular I've been really looking forward to my daughter's reaction to the lights and decorations on the tree (she was impressed by the way). However, something has been missing this year, and I'm not sure if it is the additional commitments in the schedule, or, maybe I'm just getting older. It's actually frustrating because I used to LOVE the feeling of Christmas being in the air and getting out to celebrate. As a fact though, this year I find myself somewhat wanting to do the opposite and withdraw from the "Holiday world."

          So what's changed? I don't think it is because I'm a year older, or that there is a bit of stress with a newer child in the home (I would have thought it would make it more fun). Work is much the same as before. Albeit I've had the flu for the better half of November and December, that really hasn't dampened my spirts before. I don't think it's because my head isn't screwed on quite right. I don't think, perhaps that my shoes are too tight. I don't think the most likely reason of all is that my heart is two sizes too small. I realized that it was my desire to withdraw that was calling attention to the issue. I've been wanting to escape "the holiday".  As a society we really don't celebrate Christmas anymore, it's all about the "holiday".  Without Christmas, there never would have been a holiday.  There is an attempt to appease too many by changing the nature of the season and defining it as a holiday.  Developing it around about good cheer (pfft, more like Scrooges lately), parties, friends.  Many stores have adopted the absurd notion of displaying and advertising Christmas decorations and sales as early as October.  The reality is, it's become about shopping, shopping, parties, stress, commitments (some that is) that you don't really want to attend, dinners, parties, and more shopping. The Grinch has escaped and is shouting at the top of his lungs, the "noise, noise, NOISE." No wonder we are all burned out before Christmas day has arrived.

          The purpose in my muse is not to harp on how consumerism has taken over - that can clearly be seen by the disruption of Thanksgiving by Black Friday shopping. I just find myself lamenting over the lack of focus on the real reason behind why we celebrate Christmas. Here is the funny part that I don't think anyone saw coming. For years and years, we've been taught that Christmas is about the passing of gifts, that "the true spirit of Christmas is to give." And that is where I think it began, a perfect storm of consumerism with the inherent need to give (thanks to our upbringing) - and that is where I think we've started to become lost. 30+ years ago, you didn't wake up to a Christmas tree stuffed with "Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!" So what has happened?

          I've been observing a small but growing shift among those of us who recognize the season is not about presents and parties. It's about celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus (Sorry to my atheist / agnostic friends, but Christ is the reason for the season). I'm starting to see a rejection of the mass commercialism and heavy focus on consumerism.  It's not all about the amount of presents under the tree. Indeed, the spirit of giving is a still apart of the season - but it's only a small part.  I've heard and read that some are trimming their shopping budgets in general, others are donating their shopping funds to charitable causes. Some families are only giving a couple of presents to the children (no adult gifts).

          I'll be honest, my wife and I used to spend ridiculous amounts of money on each other at Christmas. A big expensive tree, decorations and oodles of presents underneath it. And for what? This isn't the Christmas that I want my daughter to learn and know. Please don't get me wrong, I still want to see her face Christmas morning(s) to see what Santa has left for her under the tree. I still want as a family to pick out and decorate the tree with Christmas carols playing in the background and the smell of rice pudding cooking on the stove. I still want to sit down and watch the movie  “A Christmas Story”.

          The Grinch and I, we're in one accord after some introspection. "What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” And that's really it - and so, I hope and pray that I can teach my daughter that Jesus is the centre of Christmas. Who knows, maybe by removing all the "holiday" noise and focusing on God I can reignite my passion again for Christmas.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Family Flu

Robert Martignani | The Family Flu I tell you, there is indeed something worse then a sick baby. Being sick yourself AND dealing with a sick baby. Oh yes, just when all I need is a nights rest, my darling daughter decides that whatever ails her, will be heard about by Daddy. I don't want my daughter to grow up to fast, but man, do I wish sometimes she could speak (beyond the single word utterances of ouch, uh oh, done, etc). Instead it's crying, or in some cases, she's not comfortable enough to sleep, so it's play time at 4am. Believe it or not, my child does bring out my more patient side, which is fairly limited in the real world, but brother, at 4am.... For the most part, the frustration is trying to understand what is bothering the child(ren) in order to remedy it. In this case, it's been fantastic, because I have the same thing (I'll spare you the list of Flu symptoms). 4 days later and I just want to shoot myself as this has evolved / progressed to something else. Anyway - much sympathy and appreciation to what my own parents went through with me, I know it only gets better (sarcasm) as they get older and things get messier. Praying everynight hopefully this too shall pass(but really really soon). Cheers

Friday, November 30, 2012

Thank God for Disney movies

We honestly don't allow our daughter to watch long stretches of television.  When she was approximately a year old we started watching DVDs from the Baby Einstein collection.  If you haven't seen these, they are a collaboration of short sequences that last from 6-12 seconds each in order to hold a childs attention.  They are a great series as they review shapes, sounds, animals, colours, numbers and letters.  

The problem is, our dear daughter fell in love with the series, to the point that if I whistled the opening tune to her favourite episode, she would dash to the tv awaiting me to start the movie.  Even worse, was by 15 months, she figured out what buttons to use on my Harmony remote to restart the episode.  Again, we don't watch that much television with her - so it was rather surprising that she figured this out. 

Here is the issue - there is only so much sock puppets, toys, flash scenes of animals and whatever that I can take.  I began to relive my teenage years when my brother would only watch Barney and Thomas the Engine.  But I learned from that experience by convincing my 2-3 year old brother at the time that Star Wars was much better, to the point that among his first words were "Han Solo."  (Yeah baby, how do you like that!).  My daughter is not yet old enough to appreciate StarWars.  I suspect she needs another 6 months and so I turned to our Disney collection that my wife (a big kid) has been collecting for years.

So why only Disney?  Have you seen the stuff on TV.  One show is about a Rat with a strange growth on it's posterior with some wierd looking friend, or Cats in a submarine under the sea.  Another is 3 people painted in a colour pretending to play instruments (come on, make an effort.  Sharon, Lois and Bram actually could perform). 

And so I Thank God now for those Disney cartoons rescuing me from the endless replays of Baby Einstein and here is hoping to avoid Thomas, Barney or whatever weird kids shows are on the network stations.

Cheers

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The face plant

Perhaps it was the missing "uh oh" usually uttered after my daughter tumbles over her own feet that was the first sign this was more then her common spill.  Usually the comical nature of these wipeouts solicits a laugh - though in this case the unusual sound of a crack as she splatted against the floor was more concerning then amusing.  Though I'm not really sure what to say to her at 16 months after she decides to break her fall, not with her hands, but with her forehead.
Because she was behind the island in the kitchen when it happened, we at first we're not sure what she has hurt, her hands, knees, head... pride.  Generally our daughter is fairly tame and doesn't cry often, even temper tantrums are filled more with yelling and writhing on the floor then actual tears.  At first her Mom holds her, but since she can't magically make the pain go away she'll try Dad.  Nope - Dad as such is no good either, something still hurts.  It's then we notice the big round bump emerging right in the middle of her forehead.  A little pinkish - but developing into a nice Chicken egg swelling.  Hey, go big or go home. 

So bump forming is good - but now, how the heck do you get the kid to sit still while you try to ice it.   Bribery of course - and in this case, freezies.   Distract her with one cold object while the bag of peas goes on the forehead.  It's amzing how quickly the sniffles and gulps disappear when enticed with a freezie.

But to add insult to the injury - the next day as we drop her off at the private daycare, even with her bangs down, the first thing the provider notices is the big goose egg on her forehead.  Thankfully she knows of my daughter's clumsiness ahead of time, so no glances accusing of neglect (by the way, we really do like her daycare provider).

But ah ha - not to be beaten or let it go, still 5 days later there is a lovely brown-blue bruise right in the middle of her head that actaully extends to the bridge of her nose.  And wouldnt' you know it, my daughter still manages to bump something right on that spot.   Well, at least there are no family pictures coming up to immortalize her clumsiness.

I'm starting to realize how my parents felt through the various trips to the hospital for me.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Possible nonsense musings of a new Dad

Robert Martignani | Musings of a newish Dad

Robert Martignani

Musings of a Dad 16 months into the job
Before becoming a parent I used to stay up until 2am, watching TV, movies, talking with my beautiful wife.  I would sleep in the next day, sometimes until 12pm like a teenager.  Breakfast was a foreign concept because I would sleep through it.  My day, started with lunch. 

But all that changes with a child.  I find myself waking up at 8am and cannot fall back to sleep.  That is of course unless my daughter decides her day will start today at 7:30am, or 6am... I find myself going to be earlier and earlier, like the people I used to openly mock when I was younger. 

A common comment from parents alike before my time in this role was "it's the great experience in the world, I would never go back" trying so hard to sell the concept of being a parent as if they are trying more to convince themselves then anything of their decision in life.  But I'm not trying to judge - but rather, work through my own throughts

Here is the truth in my mind (key words "my mind").  Do I miss the old days?  Absolutely, staying up late without worrying about getting up at 8am to make breakfast for my daughter.  Being able to go to a movie, or restaurant with ease.  I still like to tell folks of when my wife and I made an on-the-spot decision and left our condo at 11:30 at night to buy a much needed couch we saw advertised on tv for a midnight sale at the Brick.  There are definite advantages that I certainly miss and muse about.  Given the option would I go back?  Of course not.  My daughter has been a wonderful gift from God, she really has brought a new life to our home (and new things to argue about haha).  I have to admit, it's kind of endearing when they are attached to you, sitting in your lap, wanting your attention, coming to you for help, even if all they are saying at the time is "ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah."  I do admit though the Dr. Suess hair alone has made it all the while.

Cheers
     Robert Martignani