Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Where did the quiet amicable child go?

I wrote previously about the small tantrums which as of the present have evolved into thermal nuclear temper tantrums.  Ok, compared to what I've seen elsewhere, they really are not that bad, but surely feel that way when you are in public.

You often hear people talk about their love of infants, the newborn smell, and holding the tiny little bundle.  I'll admit, it is endearing, and I loved my daughter no less as a result, but honestly, I just find the infant age so boring.  They are too young to respond to anything you really do - and 99% of the time, that smile you think you saw, was likely gas.  For me - I like the 1 - 5 year mark, that's when they are really fun.

My daughter's is 21 months and her independence and personality are growing and blossoming.  She runs to me for hugs, gives me kisses on the cheek and waves bye-bye when it's time for me to leave Daycare in the morning so she can run off to play with her friends.  She looks at me with adoration and is constantly working to impress me with something or pull out a book or toy to play with.  She gets to watch 30 minutes of Treehouse (A Canadian childrens' network) in the evenings while I prepare dinner and it's a great feeling when she sits on the couch and pats the seat beside her motioning for me to join her for a bit. 

Don't misunderstand my glowing adoration for my daughter.  Along with the growing intelligence and sweet personality hides a Mr. Hyde.  As my child continues to experiment with cause an effect, we find sometimes a little troll emerges who stomps her feet, slams the floor and screams when she doesn't get something she wants.  In her defence, it's sometimes out of pure frustration with Mom & Dad.  I mean, why don't Mom and Dad get it, how much more clear could "ah da baba ba galk" be?  They just don't get me.... famous words of a future teenager.  Don't get me wrong, I don't struggle with dealing with the episodes, nonetheless, it doesn't mean I would prefer to avoid them.

And as frustrating as it can be at times with the tantrums - toddlerhood is still my favourite age.  I really enjoy seeing that little personality grow and establish itself, new words that flow from their mouths, and laughter that emerges as she finds delight in something.  Even the little fits that drive me a little crazy, oddly enough I enjoy because I know its her attempts to assert herself and communicate with me.  I smirk when I see the tiny little pants, shirts and socks and the funny way they run.  If I could have my way, lock them in a cycle for the next 7 years, and that way I can avoid teenager hood.


(Exclaimer -- not a real picture of my daughter, but you get the idea)

Monday, April 1, 2013

Terrible twos and she's only 20 months

I love my daughter's independence, something she showed early in her development. Perhaps it's a result of our exercising the attachment theory, or maybe she's just a bold individual at heart. Either way, I love it, it keeps me on my toes and guessing. Some people may think she's out of hand when she tears down the aisle at the superstore hoping I will chase her down and scoop her up (to a round of giggles and cackles). What do I care, as long as she listens to me when it matters.

And there is the crux - as long as she listens to me. And now we enter the stage of her development where she starts to define her own identity and understand her own likes and desires. Surprisingly enough, we managed to dodge hearing the "no" word from her. Again, I'm not sure if this was a result of our using the word sparingly (we used synonyms and sounds), luck or a blessing from God. Half of the encounters with my daughter now usually results in legs flailing, attempts to wriggle out of my arms (which sucks because I have a sprained wrist), lying on the floor crying, etc.

I think the part I appreciate the most is when my daughter lies on the floor and cries, my wife and I will leave the room as we do not want to reinforce the behavior. Our daughter will pause, look up to see where we are, move into an area that is in our view and begin the process again. Yes it's annoying and hard not to respond - but at the same time, its even harder not to break down in laughter at the absurdity of it all.

The best global melt down yet was when my daughter found my pregnant wife's stash of chocolate covered almonds, sealed in a container. She very politely brought the treat to me in the kitchen saying "here you go." Naturally I know what she is alluding to. She wasn't giving them to me as much as she was hoping I would open the container for her. Of course I declined, chocolate aside, it's a nasty choking hazard. So I respond, "thank you, these are mommy's." Well, the face scrunches up, turns red and the beginning of a wail and cry as if I had just stomped on her little toes. She didn't move, just contorted her face in her effort to put forth the crocodile tears.

For the most part, I admit I'm a strict parent and so the behavior above is generally like nails on chalkboard to me. Indeed it is a phase of her development. A Pandora's box that we opened as well by encouraging her independence. And indeed, while it is good for a laugh at times, I really do look forward to the end of this one.

Note --- it's even more lovely that she has started teething again, so the tantrums combined with a less then sunny disposition some days are a wonderful experience.