Monday, April 1, 2013

Terrible twos and she's only 20 months

I love my daughter's independence, something she showed early in her development. Perhaps it's a result of our exercising the attachment theory, or maybe she's just a bold individual at heart. Either way, I love it, it keeps me on my toes and guessing. Some people may think she's out of hand when she tears down the aisle at the superstore hoping I will chase her down and scoop her up (to a round of giggles and cackles). What do I care, as long as she listens to me when it matters.

And there is the crux - as long as she listens to me. And now we enter the stage of her development where she starts to define her own identity and understand her own likes and desires. Surprisingly enough, we managed to dodge hearing the "no" word from her. Again, I'm not sure if this was a result of our using the word sparingly (we used synonyms and sounds), luck or a blessing from God. Half of the encounters with my daughter now usually results in legs flailing, attempts to wriggle out of my arms (which sucks because I have a sprained wrist), lying on the floor crying, etc.

I think the part I appreciate the most is when my daughter lies on the floor and cries, my wife and I will leave the room as we do not want to reinforce the behavior. Our daughter will pause, look up to see where we are, move into an area that is in our view and begin the process again. Yes it's annoying and hard not to respond - but at the same time, its even harder not to break down in laughter at the absurdity of it all.

The best global melt down yet was when my daughter found my pregnant wife's stash of chocolate covered almonds, sealed in a container. She very politely brought the treat to me in the kitchen saying "here you go." Naturally I know what she is alluding to. She wasn't giving them to me as much as she was hoping I would open the container for her. Of course I declined, chocolate aside, it's a nasty choking hazard. So I respond, "thank you, these are mommy's." Well, the face scrunches up, turns red and the beginning of a wail and cry as if I had just stomped on her little toes. She didn't move, just contorted her face in her effort to put forth the crocodile tears.

For the most part, I admit I'm a strict parent and so the behavior above is generally like nails on chalkboard to me. Indeed it is a phase of her development. A Pandora's box that we opened as well by encouraging her independence. And indeed, while it is good for a laugh at times, I really do look forward to the end of this one.

Note --- it's even more lovely that she has started teething again, so the tantrums combined with a less then sunny disposition some days are a wonderful experience.

No comments:

Post a Comment